if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
