did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
