in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
