4 words: hood of his car
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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