the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
