I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The air taste purple.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
