just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
