I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
