the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
