I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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