Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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