I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
