i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Enjoy the penises
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
