Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
