she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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