so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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