; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
