a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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