you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
