he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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