you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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