Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
