i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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