kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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