At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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