haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
