is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
