this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
