i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What happened to fro yo and sex?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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