btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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