After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
