Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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