Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
