I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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