The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
