I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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