New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
