I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
