I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
