just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
