we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
