We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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