your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her vagine was all disorganized.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
