***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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