Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
