instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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