How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
