is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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