At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
