you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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