you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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