Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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